Academic achievements

This article "The Perils of Academia for Asians"* struck a chord in me.

It is not the part where Asians are struggling in America, but more so the bits about the great emphasis on academic achievements in the Confucian mindset society, like how the author laments that "You are how well you do in school" or that "Parents will sacrifice – work two jobs, eat less, take no vacation, wear old clothes, sell blood if need be – in order to guarantee their children the best education".

Fortunately, I am certain that my parents did not have to sell blood in order for me to study in Singapore. However, on reflecting the past, I feel that they had sacrificed a lot in the pursue of what they believed was a better future for me (and my sister). My parents toiled hard at their ceramic factory, often putting in long hours and sweat. Vacations were unheard of, unless you count road trips to Penang, Alor Star, or at best to Langkawi. They were certain that having a good education, which they were short-changed of due to their family commitments, was the road to success; that was something imcomprehensible to a child who would rather be playing than hitting the books.

I certainly felt the pressure from my parents to perform well in school, it was like the whole world pirouettes around attaining good grades. What made it worse was the comparisons of grades within the family, which made it all seemed like a giant pressure cooker. I did succumb to pressure several times, like how I called my mom before a geography paper to tell her that I will not pass the exams. Boy, that must have freaked them out totally! As to how I made it so far, Lady luck must certainly have been smiling down on me!

Still at times, I cannot shake off that creepy feeling that I disappointed my parents by not completing my PhD. The tone of their voice over the phone carried some hints of confusions as to why I opted out with a Masters degree instead. But I should stop thinking of it that way. It is more important for me to feel that they are proud of what I have achieved. There is so much more to life than academic excellence!

*Interestingly, the same article appeared on Singapore Straits Times, under a different title: The nightmare world of dreams.